The fourth Love

5/8/2012 1.47am
Sunday
Actually, i should write this post in early time...
It is because not happen in today...but...i should not give a hope to myself to continue this relationship back...
So...I must to CHEER UP ya...^^
As past post i post b4....have to write how start this relationship and how it end...=)
This story should start when i come back from Genting with my buddy...
Rmb that day i was sick like hell...voice also lost d....
that day...ah ming pull me go yum cha...and at this pull...i know few of new fren...
one of them is she...rmb on that day...she ffk she fren...
and ah ming go she home pull her out...and we meet at 德记炒粉...
She name Karena Ng...chinese name and full name dun write la...she not so like her name...
but i feel not bad...just a nick name make she not like her own name jor... swt
this is the way how i know she....
after that day... i also not contact so close d...
but dun know when start...
we start close and chat by facebook...talkbox...and line...and i date her watch 结婚的那件事...
that time i still treat her as my friend...no think others...
until one day...when we are chatting...
she write a word to me that...如果是三四年前的我，我几经向你表白了...
that time i really stun ler....suddenly got a girl talk like this to me...
but that time i really not ready for start a relationship...then i change other topic...
and i think it myself...how and what to do...?? do i got feel on her??
that time i start to pay attention on her...好感 is got...but not love ma...
and we keep contact...slow slow d...i start got love feel on her....
and i date her and fren to genting trip...
In genting....A kiss....start our relationship....
at this relationship...not easy...or can say our timing is not good ba...
rmb that am am start...i have to go china for 10 day...
and i got something place i not happy with it...so have give a 10 day she settle some problem...
in this 10 day...i wish i can connect to internet...to chat with her..and tell her i miss u...but hor..that up dup china...no wifi 1...really suck lor....and still good at the last day hotel there got...haiz...but also too late jor la...tml i also back malaysia jor...
So fast 10 days is pass...
and i waiting her answer...is it settle...but she tell me she is not settle it yt...
haiz...that time i really not syok for it...and that time...i wish she not settle it...
so i can quit this relation...no so deep love in that time ma...
but i din do it...cos i wish to give a chance to myself to continue for this...
so...like that tor tor la la gam....wait her settle lor....
the most important to make this relationship going down is me....
i have study at kl...and the jealous attitude....
the distance of us is far...and the timing not ngam ba...
when i back ipoh...she not free...
when i din back ipoh....she is free...
funny right??
Ipoh and KL is not far only...
but...expensive....once time back RM50 gone...
I know my account...like that every week back...i totally hard to survive in KL...
everyday eat roti meh? i so 喂食...haha...and every time back ipoh i also dun know where money fly...like use water gam...haiz....i think i know where la...BEER...!!! haiz...
Bad attitude i got it...= ="
when she need me...i at kl...when i need she....she at ipoh...
This is one of reason...the second reason i think is i jealous...
i know i am not a generous person...mayb for fren will bit ba...but...for gf...
i think i am small gas lor....dun know why...this is human character ba...
i jealous for she date a guys yum cha..not..is yum beer..= ="
Boy ler...is a small gas animal ler....and this case...i think i power to jealous for it gua...
and jealous for she sister wedding and after sister wedding lor...= ="
That time she sister wedding...she no invite me... i understand ger...but..
at the same time she told me she phone is sot jor...
so this few few few and few day no contact me...= ="
haiz...but hor...she can date her fren badminton d wor..geng ler....= ="
haha...suan la...write so detail tok pi meh....=)
the result show it i am jealous king lor....xD
the thrid or fourth reason i dun know also...this i think not i answer ba....need she only can answer for it lor...i think hor....one of reason she will say is i am a BAD guys....
wakakkaka....hahaha....
erm....so....one day....i drink a lot...and the mind think is negative thing....so...
my emotion ask me dun continue for this relationship....so that day...i write a msg to say break....
After wake up that day o...got regret lor....lolx....hahaha....why need write like those hurt thing to a girl...even need break also cnt write so hurt she ger word ma...haiz...regret write too hurt to she...
After that day....start cnt keep chat with her lur....haiz to 斩栏ma...= =
not easy pass ler...have to find other thing to make self no so concentrate for she...
but at that time hor...the computer break down....die jor...omg....sei la...more hard to pass...= =
only can go swimming...keep fit..!!xD
until last yesterday...go find her...only know that i cnt put down all thing...
haiz...= ="
and just now...i asked a question...she answer me...i only know i cnt continue look backward...
she teach me look forward...."look forward..get a better for your lost"
this word make me wake up....she also look forward d....so Me also cnt stay at past memory...
so..write this blog...is remind myself...SHE was a PAST...look forward ba... ^^
thank her let me grow up a little bit ba...hahaa......=)
ok la...3.33 d...write jor 2 hrs.. = ="
Good night

宁静

4-8-2012
一个休息的周六...从早睡到下午...
雨后的心情特别好...喜欢雨后了凉风吹来...
感觉很舒服...^^
现在全家人都出街了...哥哥还没回家...妹妹约朋友去看戏...弟弟就躲在房间打机...
爸爸妈妈也出街拍拖去了...剩下我在家茶台上按电脑...没事做写写blog咯...
有时候就想自己会是一个潇洒的人...说放就放...
但事实当然不一样啦...哈哈
昨天有去找她哦...原来自己没放得下呢...
不懂她放下了吗？还是？...
和她聊聊之后才知道她最近比较烦她的事业...
不懂如何选择...
说真的...曾经和时我也想过这问题...
但我还有机会去逃避...继续升学...哈哈
但读下读下又想找工做...因为很多朋友都有自己的事业了...
有点羡慕他们吧...没关系啦...还有半年...
听到我校会变University TARC...或许可以不用出国...就拿到degree了...
听说啦...但一切还是未知之数...心里就很想出去见识见识的...
但是叻...家里负担重...怕支付不起...还是看看先吧...
不写了,突然间收到东京要攻打马来西亚的消息...我去准备攻打回它们...再会...!!

A Cool Night

7-1-2012
Sunday
3.02 AM

Total is a cool night...Mayb is few day also morning only sleep...
make my body get weak...so i feel today very cool...very cool..very cool...
is it only weak body only feel cool??
Last week back ipoh, my uncle saw my tummy and laugh me...
Jun...u fat jor ler...see...ur tummy so big jor...so ugly...then laugh with my mum...
Haha...of course i got fat d...because i dun to lose to YOU...
so i had eat a lot...until tummy also come out d...
Good ma...I also wish i can get fat...fat only can feel warm...
at least when at this moment...
U r...so long no write u jor (Blog)...always write u also not a good thing...
need u help me to explore my sad feel....
got few question i need to ask her...but should i go and ask??
after ask...is it the problem can be solve??
I not really like ppl sms until half no reply...
do they know ppl is waiting them reply??
if not free...just send a msg and tell me u are not free...
then i no need like a sozai gam wait so long at there...
until i need to send second msg....
Haiz...suen ba la...
Mayb she din look me as a boy friend ba...
anything also no share with me...
even u unhappy that time..due ur ex say need send thing back to u...
u want to avoid him...so??
avoid him...with no reply my msg can link up??
He make u not happy? but i cannot make u happy back??
mayb ba...i no so much 影响力 ger....
dun know how to make other happy also...
i have no this kind talent...
u want to avoid ex then leave ur bf a side also...Good...
It is Hurt la wei...= ="
the more hurt is...
u dun try to hold back this relationship...
what call " u wont get this feel anymore,cos u can leave me anytime"...
U think i am what??
I am not a toy...i also got feeling ger...
not You say want to come into my life, make me care and then just check out...
or ask me to check out...
the only a question i want to ask..
"Love Me?"
love me...i stay...
if no...just tell it ...i quit...
no love also no point to continue it...
ur heart already no with me...why still need to force urself....
just for a word scare regret future...
If no feel...together also no use d....
so no need scare what regret in future....
no love jor...how regret ler...right??
I no reply u because i dun know how to reply and answer u...
i really 不舍得...because i dun know is u still got any love on me...
if no...i 不舍得 also have to 舍得...i cnt so selfish to hold this relationship...
relationship is both side d...so...if any 1 broken...it is cannot to continue d...
so...i wait you answer...
Night....

Should Mind or?

12.44am 24 april 2012 The day come back from china...during this china trip...really happy and enjoy for it... but..the last day in china..she told me got a bad news...ok lor...no choices ger... future thing is cannot fully plan ger...ok la...wait her lor...^^ then come back jor...tot got a good news to hear...but who know... ...can don wan talk about this xin? when ngam timing ler... haiz....why ler...just say sick lor...why wan say wat timing r..= =" when only is ngam timing ler?? ngam timing..!!!! ngam timing...!!!! i understand she sick jor....so also no guai her...天意吧... but...the today mood really give tat ngam timing spoiled...= = and have to say sorry is...sry when u sick i not around... i mind...i mind ppl say u when 1 day..this is not good..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A special Day

3-3-2012
4.28 A.M.

Hi..long time din upload u d...today is a very special day....!!!!
Early in the morning i very sad...it is because i receive my uncle phone call..
he say my dear mum going to in hospital...
i very scare...!!! after that i call back to my mum...
she told me cos she leg keep on swollen....so doctor advice to hospital checking..
as some ppl know...my mum healthy not very good...gt C hepatitis...so...
last time doctor say got 10 year life or more than 10 year...now...she alr 5 year agos...
i very scare 1 day i lose my love mum....!!!!
Last 5 year i always think if i lose my mum will how...but...this is sure will face it on 1 day...
so...must think it maturely...!!!
My mum still joke with me...no worry...wont die...so i only "fang xin"...
after that...today is my fren and bro birthday party at overtime...
very funny at there lor...
all very high at overtime...almost all ppl also look at our table...Haha...
It was very happy...xD
but hor...haiz...why i will write this blog...because...i drink no enough...!!!
cnt make me sleepy...!!! so i only can spend my time to write this blog...xD
Tat Jun....be strong ya...!!! u can do it...!!!!

Miss Me Right?

13-Oct-11
So long din have write blog d~
cos no time and no mood to write it~
anyway~time to write some emotion d~
for who interest know how my life now~
Morning 11 or 10 wake up~ then drive to school~ come back~ sleep~ wake computer~like kampar~
such a noob life la~but gt 2 roommate la~ is better than last~
let say about my birthday tat day~
actually many people dun know i already in relationship~
Erm~already got half year ++ d~
Haha~ tell u something~ do u believe u can relationship with a girl without know what she face look like~and never meet b4~
I did it~
u ask me why i will do that~ i can tell u~ i also dun know~
love something is cannot find the answer 1~
In this half year~ she got keep messages with me~ maybe is like that~
she get my heart already~and i also will spend time to open she facebook account~ skype account~ twitter account to view it~But i know~you are dislike~
Sometime i found that she got lie or joke on me~
make me so confuse for that~
gt friend ask me dun love so deep~
it will get hurt~
but~ i dun know why i cannot do that~
at my birthday that day~ i wish she can come find me and celebrate with me~
but~putting more high hope~getting more high disappointed~ and i sad of that day~
cos got roommate at room~ i cannot express my emotion in room~ i walk down to the pool~
and try cry out inside the pool~ like that no people can see i crying~
Is ok la~pass already ma~
everyone also have their own life~
i have try ask for address~
if free i wish i can go find her~
but she dun give o~
i have nothing can do right?
haha~
In the other hand, i think i also not a good boy friend la~
come KL 1 month already~ also dun have date her out for shopping or movie~
really~ i have no time for she also~
1 week~sat sun ~back ipoh (to take item to KL)
2 week~sat sun ~back ipoh (Help my uncle temple)
3 week~sat sun ~go genting( with family)
4 week~sat sun ~back ipoh (Help my uncle temple)
5 week~sat sun ~going back kampar (convo)
really~i have no time for she also~Sorry~
She let me understand~ 凡事不能强求~顺其自然~
So now~ i also dun 强求 la~顺其自然ba~ 活得更自在~
i think you may not open my blog to view it~
cos i know~ u do not like me that everyday also open ur profile and view it~
Haha~ no choice~ half of this year~ i already 习惯了 to view it~
That why i say~ blog make people very 矛盾~
wish give other look~ dun wish other look 1~
if gt any question~ comment here ya ^^

If you really want something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse.

毕业啦~！！

15-sept-2011
Thursday
今天是一个重要的日子来纪念我终于毕业啦~
短短的3年4个月~就这样告一段咯了~
从不读书的变得"被逼"&"勉强" 自己去的读~
给自己一个交代~和给家人一个安心~
现在的社会~没有一张文凭~就很难给自己一个好将来~
在这几年~认识了一班死党~疯疯癫癫的~
吃，喝，玩，乐~嫖（没有），赌，饮，荡，吹（没有）
基本上好的坏的都一起做过~我不会把这3年多的回忆忘记的~
虽然大家都各走各的路~但我相信~我们一定会在聚起来~再次疯疯癫癫的~
告别了金宝~就进入了新的开始~
明天我就要踏入马拉西亚的首都生活了~
据有人言~繁忙都市~不好过~
有人说~繁忙都市~多姿多彩~
明天起~我就去见证下先~哈哈~
明天也开始了我人生的另一个转折点~
和朋友同居~习惯一个生活的我~是否可以和朋友们同居呢~
所谓~相见容易同居难~不懂是否如我所愿的叻？
想飞出鸟笼很久了~哈哈~
现在为止都还没收拾明天去KL的东西~是时候计划下了~ xD
KL不懂会不会找到我的缘分叻~
生日快到了~ 今年的生日~ 也没放太大的期待~
希望平淡的过~ 21 岁了~我不在是小孩了~ 哈哈~
其实现在的我应该出来社会工作~开始储蓄我的老婆本~
但是~出来社会话~我该去何处呢？
Diploma level 在20年前就很吃香~但是~现在的社会~
单单diploma的话已经被淘汰了~街上一大堆大学生~该如何去和他们抢吃~？
做男生其实很辛苦~要为将来自己家的生活~过得好~就要努力工作~担家起整头家~
小孩时想当大人~大人时又想当回小孩~但岁月不留人~
该来的都来~是时候去想想~还有2年的时间~趁着还读书~想自己想来的出路吧~xD

20-7-2011

这世界没有说没了谁是不行的...她只是让你人生过程中有过了一段精彩的回忆...

my feeling right now...

13/6/2011
10.55 p.m

These busy week should be going on...
2 assignment need to hand up...
1 presentation...
1 mid term test...
but........................
2 assignment nt yt touch...(20% complete)
presentation dun knw wat need to present...
test...no study at all...
Monday...Morning 12 wake up...
start siting at computer whole day...
try to do my assignment...but study mood nt with me...
actually this at last min...i will vomit all out...
but nw...i thinking wat she doing nw....
do she miss me..??
she has msg me at morning...
but...i dun knw wat i should reply to her...
if i'm important for she...
why she din take action tat i wan she take...
just simply few click jek...nvm...
u dun wan i also wont force d...
Today....
boring day....sien day...hot day...
make me feel emo.. .
suan la...dun write la..also no mood write...
do assignment ba...!!!!
bye

Confuse !!

I have no idea izit a lying or true...!!!
If it is a lying how...!!!
It true is good...!!!
Scare...!!!
Haiz...............................................
until today....!!!! why....!!!!

A Night~

A night try to want miss people...
but..no people can let me miss...pity

2011年的第一New Post~

7-3-2011
2.13 a.m.

你好吗？很久也没来看是吧？
不知不觉已经有3个月没写了...
其实当中有几天我很想去写下和记录下来...
当时可能忙了些..就没写下来...
其实没写你也没什么不好啦...
就是说我过得好好的...没有不愉快的事...
而今天..是睡不着..也感觉有点EMO的...
就来找你舒解下自己...
老实说..我的人生很淡,静,平凡,无色，不充实..
20岁了...给自己有80岁命...都走了四分之一了...
得到了什么...学会了什么...想些什么...该做什么...
有时候很羡慕一些人可以为自己设下目标...有了目标...就不会浪费人生...
现在的我...还读着书..上着课..为了什么？
老人家说...是为了将来...
将来...又有谁能预料到呢？
哪怕世界末日来了...我还拿着书呢...
世界这么大...有很多事物我都还不知道...
真的很想去世界各地见识见识...
但是实际上，有多少个人可以实浅到..
当离开每天过着上课下课的求学生活...
就会踏入上班下班的上班族...
大部分的人类就是过着这样的生活...从古老到现在依然不会改变的定律...
比如在电影中...观众只留意男女主角..因为监策会安排多姿多彩的人生给他们...
但戏中的"卡拉费"呢...有谁去留意他们呢...
突然很想知道..自己是否站一个重要的角色...
会有人偶尔想起我吗？？
其实人是很善忘的动物...时间久了就会被遗忘...
希望的是不管现在还是将来...当有人说起"叶达进"大家都会记得我是谁就好了...^^
好啦...时候不晚了...早上快到了...还地过平淡的生活上课...晚安啦...^^

Silent Night

26-12-2010
Sunday
23.49 p.m.

Very Very Very long period din write blog d...
so so fast...2010 x'mas pass d...
2011 is coming...
year 2 sem 2 final coming also...
is time to gambeteh study d la yap tat jun
after exam then can enjoy ur new year holiday jor...juz add oil
always lik tat ger...always wish gt ppl ask u study
haiz...remind urself ba...set alarm to study... =(
so fast bo mood cont write...stop here la..c ya..

12月的第一天

23.51 P.M.
1/12/2010
这么快就12月了...其实今天换成以前的我...那我现在应该是很生气的...
打算skip了今天的课...一心回怡保弄lisen + Atm Card...但是却...
没关系啦...想下开心的事...昨天我班的烂赌鬼在家开赌场...而我也去玩下两手...
起初就是玩Poker的..但是不大够运...输了RM10..过后就换了black jack...
想起胜者为王戏里说...如果想要赢钱...就必须做庄家...结果我就当了dealer la...
经过2 3 个小时后...我赢了RM110...之前输的也赢回了...那部戏果然没骗我..xD
今天有为美女来我家copy戏...谈了下天...值得开心的是她答应下次弄cheese cake 给我吃...
所以说...开心很简单...开心和不开心..是你自己怎样去衡量的...
还有的是...今天做了一个无聊又觉得很爽的事...取西经...和坚持搭到新巴士...
何谓取西经...西经怎样取的？就是一步一步的走到终点...
其实也不算远啦...从我家出发去到MGS..途中经过了我中学时期常去过的地方...
好像进了时光隧道...想当年就是这样走来走去的...还想起我的ex以前就是要这样的去搭巴士...
可怜..还好我是一次半次..xD
另一间事就是...近日Ipoh to Kampar 的巴士都一部份换了新粉红色的...听人说恨舒服...
我还没试过嘛...结果就眼睁睁的看着两辆巴士眼中过了...
自己答应了自己...今天搭不到就不回金宝...还好...下一部就是我期待的新粉红巴士..
哈哈...一等就等了一个小时...15-20 分钟就有巴士...坚持就让我等了一小时..再加回金宝一小时...
就用了两小时的时间...去KL都可以了咯..哈哈...
人生就像一部戏..结局虽然不能改变..但你能去用自己的方法去演这部戏...xD
开心不开心就在你手中...美丽的一天啊..哈哈

Heart very Pain...I wan cry...fuck wat a bad day today..!!!

Blog...sometime very hate you...
why must always write u almost is a bad thing...
fuck sohai selamat Haji..!!
Babi day..fuck...
yesterday still very happy enjoy playing game and stealing movie at A staion...!!!
whole night no slp til morning of today..tot back home and sleep it well..then take out environment to study..!!!
why...why..!!
receive a msg form my little bro...
after view it...
I think ntg drive motor back ipoh...!!
whole night no slp...!!! damn sleepy..!!!
bt no choice..!! i must come back ipoh...!!!!
Fuck day really...I totally hate today...!!!
make me wan cry...make me heart pain lik hell...!!!
bt ntg i can do...!!!
Why this thing happen in my life...Fuck..
last year of today make me accident motor...!!!
this year happen this Fuck case...!!!
fuck la...!!
BAbi day...o0o..
leave me alone...!!!

HELP...help....HELP

10-11-2010
21.31
为什么HELP...??
我想有人可以帮我...
我想可以有个有心人...可以劝我勤力读书...
劝我别顾着玩...夜夜睡...温习下功课...做作业...别打麻将...
就是现在的生活中...让我越来越懒散...明明就明天考试...
我还没拿书出来温习...到了考试当天才来后悔...
这学期是很难下的...但是...为什么就比上学期更懒了...
妈呀...真的打救下你的儿子...越来越懒了他...
有缘人...有缘人...
我们几时才相遇...？？
在这样下去...我怕我老了身体都被我年轻的现在搞砸了...
你们懂啦...人老了就会体弱多病...为何会弱就是年轻时没照顾好身体...
这道理谁不会？？ 人就是这样...说了不做，做了做错，错了不改，改了又不继续...
天啊...帮下忙...让我别这么颓废吧...救命..!!!

雄性和雌性～

上天...上帝...创造了雄与雌...阴和阳...
雌性天生就有股吸引雄性的本质...
这是不会改变的天理循环...
有了雄和雌...男和女...
就会繁殖后代...让世界一步一步的繁荣下去...
雄性有生去来就是无法抵挡雌性的魅力...
控制下雄性...保持下理性...！

HaPpY

18.21
Saturday..
Hehe...Today is a Happy Bay...
cos make me think back lot of old thing...
why i say so...
Noon at kampar want take bus back Ipoh...let me rmb when i new new come to Kampar...
Make DC bro...cert iv CBB fren....tat take bus moment...
after come back ipoh alr...
at the kinda bus stop....
again...
make me rmb last time form 3 4 5...take bus...go here go ther...
ponteng...parade...stadium...the way bus pass sure got pass my secondary school d..
tat road...cnt forget 1...
at ther i hav with 5S1 friend...mean kok weng,monster,khong ming,wai hung,chun fei,john,yahoo, fatty,weng kai,kian khon,hoh tiam,voon chuan,jun heang..and so on...make video..act 黑社会打架...xD
if find back tat video upload let u all watch...the naught n dai b time...xD
Haha...dun knw put wher alr..wan get form kok weng jor...many photo missing...>.<" Form 1 and 2...bus fetch to school...when arrive...put the bag at ther...then fast fast run to CC....scare no pc...xD funny la...run lik hell cos go CC play game...Counter Strike...Starcraft...RO...3 top game tat time...>.<"
good memory when take bus ipoh...xD
Like the memory...dislike tat bus...
wait so long...xP
haha...

A 50% 50% Day...xD

27-10-2010
Wednesday
Haiz...yesterday insomniac ler..!!!
cos open d window alr...lot of insect come in my bed...
and make me whole night cnt slp well...
After that...morning morning come and rain make the weather so nice for slp..
bt cnt slp...Marketing research nt yt study...force myself wake it and study...
who knw tat stupid MR come out d all question nt my focus...!! 20mark...i only knw how to get 6 mark...
the more pokai thing is...c ppl can out cat...bt that lecturer rmb my face...every 3s also turn to me...they wan sos me also cnt....haiz...GG jor...nvm la...10% coursework only...6/20 also hav 3%...can d la...more hardworking for assignment la...>.<"
dun keep say bad thing...
today i saw a funny thing at my college swimming pool...
i saw a pig...ops...nt pig...
is a fat fat boy...
why i say it funny...
cos he leg 抽筋...then 上岸...and slp beside the pool...
and some 1 his friend go and help him...
him keep shout pain pain pain...
like a pig shout..xD
Swimming is good....I love It....
sick also can recover...xD
can sleep as well after it...xD