The fourth Love

5/8/2012 1.47am
Sunday
Actually, i should write this post in early time...
It is because not happen in today...but...i should not give a hope to myself to continue this relationship back...
So...I must to CHEER UP ya...^^
As past post i post b4....have to write how start this relationship and how it end...=)
This story should start when i come back from Genting with my buddy...
Rmb that day i was sick like hell...voice also lost d....
that day...ah ming pull me go yum cha...and at this pull...i know few of new fren...
one of them is she...rmb on that day...she ffk she fren...
and ah ming go she home pull her out...and we meet at 德记炒粉...
She name Karena Ng...chinese name and full name dun write la...she not so like her name...
but i feel not bad...just a nick name make she not like her own name jor... swt
this is the way how i know she....
after that day... i also not contact so close d...
but dun know when start...
we start close and chat by facebook...talkbox...and line...and i date her watch 结婚的那件事...
that time i still treat her as my friend...no think others...
until one day...when we are chatting...
she write a word to me that...如果是三四年前的我，我几经向你表白了...
that time i really stun ler....suddenly got a girl talk like this to me...
but that time i really not ready for start a relationship...then i change other topic...
and i think it myself...how and what to do...?? do i got feel on her??
that time i start to pay attention on her...好感 is got...but not love ma...
and we keep contact...slow slow d...i start got love feel on her....
and i date her and fren to genting trip...
In genting....A kiss....start our relationship....
at this relationship...not easy...or can say our timing is not good ba...
rmb that am am start...i have to go china for 10 day...
and i got something place i not happy with it...so have give a 10 day she settle some problem...
in this 10 day...i wish i can connect to internet...to chat with her..and tell her i miss u...but hor..that up dup china...no wifi 1...really suck lor....and still good at the last day hotel there got...haiz...but also too late jor la...tml i also back malaysia jor...
So fast 10 days is pass...
and i waiting her answer...is it settle...but she tell me she is not settle it yt...
haiz...that time i really not syok for it...and that time...i wish she not settle it...
so i can quit this relation...no so deep love in that time ma...
but i din do it...cos i wish to give a chance to myself to continue for this...
so...like that tor tor la la gam....wait her settle lor....
the most important to make this relationship going down is me....
i have study at kl...and the jealous attitude....
the distance of us is far...and the timing not ngam ba...
when i back ipoh...she not free...
when i din back ipoh....she is free...
funny right??
Ipoh and KL is not far only...
but...expensive....once time back RM50 gone...
I know my account...like that every week back...i totally hard to survive in KL...
everyday eat roti meh? i so 喂食...haha...and every time back ipoh i also dun know where money fly...like use water gam...haiz....i think i know where la...BEER...!!! haiz...
Bad attitude i got it...= ="
when she need me...i at kl...when i need she....she at ipoh...
This is one of reason...the second reason i think is i jealous...
i know i am not a generous person...mayb for fren will bit ba...but...for gf...
i think i am small gas lor....dun know why...this is human character ba...
i jealous for she date a guys yum cha..not..is yum beer..= ="
Boy ler...is a small gas animal ler....and this case...i think i power to jealous for it gua...
and jealous for she sister wedding and after sister wedding lor...= ="
That time she sister wedding...she no invite me... i understand ger...but..
at the same time she told me she phone is sot jor...
so this few few few and few day no contact me...= ="
haiz...but hor...she can date her fren badminton d wor..geng ler....= ="
haha...suan la...write so detail tok pi meh....=)
the result show it i am jealous king lor....xD
the thrid or fourth reason i dun know also...this i think not i answer ba....need she only can answer for it lor...i think hor....one of reason she will say is i am a BAD guys....
wakakkaka....hahaha....
erm....so....one day....i drink a lot...and the mind think is negative thing....so...
my emotion ask me dun continue for this relationship....so that day...i write a msg to say break....
After wake up that day o...got regret lor....lolx....hahaha....why need write like those hurt thing to a girl...even need break also cnt write so hurt she ger word ma...haiz...regret write too hurt to she...
After that day....start cnt keep chat with her lur....haiz to 斩栏ma...= =
not easy pass ler...have to find other thing to make self no so concentrate for she...
but at that time hor...the computer break down....die jor...omg....sei la...more hard to pass...= =
only can go swimming...keep fit..!!xD
until last yesterday...go find her...only know that i cnt put down all thing...
haiz...= ="
and just now...i asked a question...she answer me...i only know i cnt continue look backward...
she teach me look forward...."look forward..get a better for your lost"
this word make me wake up....she also look forward d....so Me also cnt stay at past memory...
so..write this blog...is remind myself...SHE was a PAST...look forward ba... ^^
thank her let me grow up a little bit ba...hahaa......=)
ok la...3.33 d...write jor 2 hrs.. = ="
Good night

宁静

4-8-2012
一个休息的周六...从早睡到下午...
雨后的心情特别好...喜欢雨后了凉风吹来...
感觉很舒服...^^
现在全家人都出街了...哥哥还没回家...妹妹约朋友去看戏...弟弟就躲在房间打机...
爸爸妈妈也出街拍拖去了...剩下我在家茶台上按电脑...没事做写写blog咯...
有时候就想自己会是一个潇洒的人...说放就放...
但事实当然不一样啦...哈哈
昨天有去找她哦...原来自己没放得下呢...
不懂她放下了吗？还是？...
和她聊聊之后才知道她最近比较烦她的事业...
不懂如何选择...
说真的...曾经和时我也想过这问题...
但我还有机会去逃避...继续升学...哈哈
但读下读下又想找工做...因为很多朋友都有自己的事业了...
有点羡慕他们吧...没关系啦...还有半年...
听到我校会变University TARC...或许可以不用出国...就拿到degree了...
听说啦...但一切还是未知之数...心里就很想出去见识见识的...
但是叻...家里负担重...怕支付不起...还是看看先吧...
不写了,突然间收到东京要攻打马来西亚的消息...我去准备攻打回它们...再会...!!

A Cool Night

7-1-2012
Sunday
3.02 AM

Total is a cool night...Mayb is few day also morning only sleep...
make my body get weak...so i feel today very cool...very cool..very cool...
is it only weak body only feel cool??
Last week back ipoh, my uncle saw my tummy and laugh me...
Jun...u fat jor ler...see...ur tummy so big jor...so ugly...then laugh with my mum...
Haha...of course i got fat d...because i dun to lose to YOU...
so i had eat a lot...until tummy also come out d...
Good ma...I also wish i can get fat...fat only can feel warm...
at least when at this moment...
U r...so long no write u jor (Blog)...always write u also not a good thing...
need u help me to explore my sad feel....
got few question i need to ask her...but should i go and ask??
after ask...is it the problem can be solve??
I not really like ppl sms until half no reply...
do they know ppl is waiting them reply??
if not free...just send a msg and tell me u are not free...
then i no need like a sozai gam wait so long at there...
until i need to send second msg....
Haiz...suen ba la...
Mayb she din look me as a boy friend ba...
anything also no share with me...
even u unhappy that time..due ur ex say need send thing back to u...
u want to avoid him...so??
avoid him...with no reply my msg can link up??
He make u not happy? but i cannot make u happy back??
mayb ba...i no so much 影响力 ger....
dun know how to make other happy also...
i have no this kind talent...
u want to avoid ex then leave ur bf a side also...Good...
It is Hurt la wei...= ="
the more hurt is...
u dun try to hold back this relationship...
what call " u wont get this feel anymore,cos u can leave me anytime"...
U think i am what??
I am not a toy...i also got feeling ger...
not You say want to come into my life, make me care and then just check out...
or ask me to check out...
the only a question i want to ask..
"Love Me?"
love me...i stay...
if no...just tell it ...i quit...
no love also no point to continue it...
ur heart already no with me...why still need to force urself....
just for a word scare regret future...
If no feel...together also no use d....
so no need scare what regret in future....
no love jor...how regret ler...right??
I no reply u because i dun know how to reply and answer u...
i really 不舍得...because i dun know is u still got any love on me...
if no...i 不舍得 also have to 舍得...i cnt so selfish to hold this relationship...
relationship is both side d...so...if any 1 broken...it is cannot to continue d...
so...i wait you answer...
Night....

Should Mind or?

12.44am 24 april 2012 The day come back from china...during this china trip...really happy and enjoy for it... but..the last day in china..she told me got a bad news...ok lor...no choices ger... future thing is cannot fully plan ger...ok la...wait her lor...^^ then come back jor...tot got a good news to hear...but who know... ...can don wan talk about this xin? when ngam timing ler... haiz....why ler...just say sick lor...why wan say wat timing r..= =" when only is ngam timing ler?? ngam timing..!!!! ngam timing...!!!! i understand she sick jor....so also no guai her...天意吧... but...the today mood really give tat ngam timing spoiled...= = and have to say sorry is...sry when u sick i not around... i mind...i mind ppl say u when 1 day..this is not good..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A special Day

3-3-2012
4.28 A.M.

Hi..long time din upload u d...today is a very special day....!!!!
Early in the morning i very sad...it is because i receive my uncle phone call..
he say my dear mum going to in hospital...
i very scare...!!! after that i call back to my mum...
she told me cos she leg keep on swollen....so doctor advice to hospital checking..
as some ppl know...my mum healthy not very good...gt C hepatitis...so...
last time doctor say got 10 year life or more than 10 year...now...she alr 5 year agos...
i very scare 1 day i lose my love mum....!!!!
Last 5 year i always think if i lose my mum will how...but...this is sure will face it on 1 day...
so...must think it maturely...!!!
My mum still joke with me...no worry...wont die...so i only "fang xin"...
after that...today is my fren and bro birthday party at overtime...
very funny at there lor...
all very high at overtime...almost all ppl also look at our table...Haha...
It was very happy...xD
but hor...haiz...why i will write this blog...because...i drink no enough...!!!
cnt make me sleepy...!!! so i only can spend my time to write this blog...xD
Tat Jun....be strong ya...!!! u can do it...!!!!

Miss Me Right?

13-Oct-11
So long din have write blog d~
cos no time and no mood to write it~
anyway~time to write some emotion d~
for who interest know how my life now~
Morning 11 or 10 wake up~ then drive to school~ come back~ sleep~ wake computer~like kampar~
such a noob life la~but gt 2 roommate la~ is better than last~
let say about my birthday tat day~
actually many people dun know i already in relationship~
Erm~already got half year ++ d~
Haha~ tell u something~ do u believe u can relationship with a girl without know what she face look like~and never meet b4~
I did it~
u ask me why i will do that~ i can tell u~ i also dun know~
love something is cannot find the answer 1~
In this half year~ she got keep messages with me~ maybe is like that~
she get my heart already~and i also will spend time to open she facebook account~ skype account~ twitter account to view it~But i know~you are dislike~
Sometime i found that she got lie or joke on me~
make me so confuse for that~
gt friend ask me dun love so deep~
it will get hurt~
but~ i dun know why i cannot do that~
at my birthday that day~ i wish she can come find me and celebrate with me~
but~putting more high hope~getting more high disappointed~ and i sad of that day~
cos got roommate at room~ i cannot express my emotion in room~ i walk down to the pool~
and try cry out inside the pool~ like that no people can see i crying~
Is ok la~pass already ma~
everyone also have their own life~
i have try ask for address~
if free i wish i can go find her~
but she dun give o~
i have nothing can do right?
haha~
In the other hand, i think i also not a good boy friend la~
come KL 1 month already~ also dun have date her out for shopping or movie~
really~ i have no time for she also~
1 week~sat sun ~back ipoh (to take item to KL)
2 week~sat sun ~back ipoh (Help my uncle temple)
3 week~sat sun ~go genting( with family)
4 week~sat sun ~back ipoh (Help my uncle temple)
5 week~sat sun ~going back kampar (convo)
really~i have no time for she also~Sorry~
She let me understand~ 凡事不能强求~顺其自然~
So now~ i also dun 强求 la~顺其自然ba~ 活得更自在~
i think you may not open my blog to view it~
cos i know~ u do not like me that everyday also open ur profile and view it~
Haha~ no choice~ half of this year~ i already 习惯了 to view it~
That why i say~ blog make people very 矛盾~
wish give other look~ dun wish other look 1~
if gt any question~ comment here ya ^^

If you really want something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse.